"God save the King!"
No, I don't mean the wannabe king in the White House. I mean the real king of the Brits, who lives in Clarence House and whose office is in Buckingham Palace, - an actual King.
You see I have always felt a special connection to Charles, who was born at 9:14 PM on November 14th, 1948. I said hello to the world on the morning of November 15th, 1948. So I occasionally muse that but for a few hours, a few thousand miles of ocean and different parents, I could be sitting on the throne of the British Empire.
The British Empire aka TBE - now there's a golden oldie from the WayBack machine. True, those imperialist dreams got their first stuttering start here on our side of the pond. But in the big picture of TBE, we were an initial hiccup on the way to global domination. Who would have guessed that the whole "taxation without representation" thing would boil over when the King billeted troops in Los Angles - er, Boston - against the wishes of the colonists?
"Oh well," thought the Brits, "There is the rest of the world to filch." And they did for next three or four hundred years, giving birth to the axiom "the sun never sets on the British Empire!" Until it did; as each of its colonies came to realize that The Crown primarily served the interests of The Crown as opposed to the home folks in the various colonies. True the British Navy and the soldiers of The Crown could usually be depended upon to maintain order. But that "orderly state" was usually defined as vouch saving the British head that wore The Crown. So now TBE is an island of about 50,000 square miles, or the size of Alabama. [For the curious minds - Alaska is about 650,000 square miles. Ed.]
So where did it all go wrong for TBE? Leaving my good buddy Charlie presiding over an Empire the size of Alabama, but without the sunshine or the football [American not British] team?
Well, a few things. First, a procession of Royals clung to the belief that only "real Englishmen" - and one supposes "Englishwomen" to a lesser degree, were of import. Everyone else - the natives, colonists, etc., - were sources of labor, conscripts, and most importantly revenue. Hence, one used whatever resources were available to protect the position, power and resources of the "Real English" throughout the Empire; even if that meant intervening militarily should the natives occupying those lands object to the policies and practices of TBE.
It is somewhat ironic that it was the colonists who came to call themselves Americans who were the first British colonists, and the first British colonists to rid themselves of TBE. But over the next 3 or 4 hundred years the rest of TBE followed our lead, leaving my buddy Charlie [in partnership with a surviving cluster of Royals] as the territorially reduced, but still immensely wealthy, ruler of Alabama Britain.
There is another oft quoted axiom: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905.
I can imagine myself sipping port in Buckingham Palace with my pal Charlie. After awhile, and into the second bottle of excellent port from somewhere in the former TBE, he begins to wax philosophical:
Charlie: "So Bobby old boy, this Trump lad - can he read?"
Bobby: "I believe, occasionally, from teleprompters."
Charlie: "So not Santayana?"
Bobby: "I would guess he would assume you were talking about a rock group from the sixties"
Charlie: "Well let me share some observations with you based on my own view of our history here on 'this sceptered isle'"
Bobby: "Pray do."
Charlie: "Bobby, America is becoming irrelevant."
Bobby: "Huh?"
Charlie: "Think about it. There are a few things that are absolutely imperative on the world stage if one is to maintain a position of leadership."
Bobby: "Such as?"
Charlie: "We'll, for one, consistency. To lead others a state must stand for a consistent set of beliefs, actions and relationships."
Bobby: "Go on."
Charlie: "Trump is a willow in the wind. One day he supports the Ukraine, the next he cozies up to Putin. Turn the page it's Ukraine again. One day he will end the war in Gaza, and turn it into a resort. Then he disappears only to resurface with new plan for that trouble regionto that will fail to past muster with either Hamas or Netanyahu. And one day he wants to annex Greenland. What? To relocate Hamas there?
Bobby: "All right some inconsistency, I admit."
Charlie: "Then there is this whole fiasco of stationing National Guard troops in your own cities. Insane. As any read of history will reveal it cost us the American colonies - maybe eventually the whole empire."
Bobby: "Point taken."
Charlie: "And finally this legal witch hunt. Using his Justice Department in an attempt to imprison those who oppose him? Would the name Robespierre, or the phrase Reign of Terror strike a chord with him?"
Bobby: "Robespierre, not at all. And he would preempt the phrase 'reign of terror' to talk about the Biden administration or cities with Democratic mayors."
Charlie: "Oh, Bobby, Bobby. Don't you get it? MAGA is a recasting of The Emperor's New Clothes. With the bizarre behavior emanating from your President, the world will just stop paying attention. Unless, of course he does go completely off the deep end and employs his personal version of a final solution, pressing nuclear buttons that will eliminate us all. Barring that, America will become a punch line, and then be forgotten. Irrelevant and unimportant on the global stage.
I know, I've been there. I am there. . . . just a rich old fart hanging out with his rich buddies. Going through the motions of forgotten relevance. . . . Would you like some more port?"
Bobby: "Do you have anything stronger? Maybe from Scotland?"