Another 3 AM Wall Post, or The Problem with Monotheism

.

OK, so here it is 3:18 in the morning and I have been startled from sleep by a weird dream in which my old buddy Lawrence and I are being forced to either check out of, or switch rooms at a generic convention hotel. Apparently, some rock band had trashed a suite across the hall and if we didn’t move we would share in charges for those damages. I don’t remember just how we were linked to the band.  .  .  dreams fade so fast.

Anyhow, I am lying here thinking, naturally enough, about the problem with monotheism. The major issue - it seems to me at the moment - is that monotheism is defenseless in the face of rational thought.  I mean only a completely callow theologian - or someone whose notion of “the world” is constrained by their own tiny village - envisions a single god, who, in addition to managing the affairs of the entire universe, is supposed to see the single sparrow fall. 

On the other hand, if you have Flutter, goddess of the feathered creatures, a single sparrow is right in her wheelhouse, her having rather limited responsibilities. You know what I mean? OK, so she took her eye off the ball with that whole passenger pigeon thing, and the Dodo. But the bald eagle is rebounding nicely. And crows have always been fine,

Of course the problem with that approach is that you can end up with a whole unwieldy family tree of gods and goddesses, and no doubt arguments would arise regarding who really was responsible for the sparrow. Is it Flutter, goddess of the feathered creatures, or the Blessed Beaker, responsible for not only the quality of wine and ale, but also for certain creatures possessing beaks? And don’t forget the problem of simply remembering the names of all the gods and goddesses and their attendant rituals. 

So, purely organizationally speaking, it does make sense to bring in a sort of celestial CEO whose portfolio includes clarifying areas of responsibility for each specific god or goddess. This would allow penitents to address their supplications to either Flutter or the Blessed Beaker specifically; or perhaps more generally to the Celestial CEO who would see to it that the request was brought to the appropriate deity’s attention so that the falling of the single sparrow would be duly noted.

Perhaps that is why I worry about a deity tasked with keeping an eye on me - or the sparrow - continually. I am more comfortable with a more inverted structure to sacred interactions. As the old Paul Simon song Some Folks Lives Roll Easy, puts it, “Here I am, Lord, knocking at your place of business.” The idea is a type of unique, individual, conversation in which the petitioner can chat directly with the deity on an “as needed” basis. I mean, realistically, prayer is often an internal values clarification exercise. By the time you figure out what you are asking of Flutter, or Zeus, or whatever deity resides at the “place of business” you have sought out, you have also come to a better understanding of what’s on your own “to do list” and which items you hope will attract some divine intervention.

That may be asking a lot of the sparrow. But on the other hand, the sparrow may be working from an entirely different model.

Well, it is pushing 4 o’clock now. I wonder if the rock band has checked out yet. .  .  . 

.