Schrag Wall: The Leaky Barrel Syndrome

This is not a condition that would interest either a physical anthropologist, a cooper, nor a urologist. But a psychiatrist might find it interesting. I have mentioned before that my sister has an exceptional memory. She is my “go to person” when I want to know things like “What was the National Park we camped in, in 1952, where they pushed the bonfire off the cliff and I got lost?” Because her memory is strongly visual she could probably provide, in addition to the name of the park, the color of the tents surrounding our campsite. Freaky, huh?

But I don’t mean to imply that I was without my own memory acumen. I recall an instance from a class in grad school when we were debating where a particular notion had first been introduced in the text. I opined, without the book, “It first gets mentioned on page 106, left-hand column, towards the top.” A more responsible student, who had brought her text to class, opened it and, Ta Da! There it was. Yeah, I could do that. Equally freaky, and did not endear me to my classmates. Almost sotto voce,  “I hate it when he does that!” “Jerk.” “Show off.”

But the point is not my lack of knowing how to win friends and influence people, but rather how my memory worked - something of which I am only now becoming aware.  My memory worked as kind of a big barrel. Whenever I read, or saw, or heard something, it sort of got tossed into this big barrel in my mind. Then when I needed it - the page in a text, my line in a play, the lyric in a song - I just reached into the barrel and, Ta, Da! - there it was. No memory palaces or other carefully constructed devices - I just reached into the barrel.

Joni Mitchell - “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.” Sitting here, clicking away - no problem with that lyric. But if, sitting around with friends at dinner, someone were to ask, “Oh, what is that song about paving paradise?” I might reach into the barrel only to discover that Joni had gone “slip slidin’ away.”

So does it bother me that my memory barrel has sprung a few leaks? I suppose it must on some level. I mean I am writing about it after all. I guess that I am adapting to it. I mean, I won’t get into community theater where I would have to learn lines - something that used to come easily. Trivial Pursuits - I think not. But drawing remains quite barrel free. And writing to you? Of course I'll continue. Besides, if I need just the right word or the rest of a fuzzy lyric? That’s why god invented the internet!