Seek No Seer

All right, it is not a unique insight.  But it came to me quite suddenly in the quiet of evening the other night.  It was one of those moments when you stop breathing and run the thought through your brain again.

"Oh my, Piglet! How amazing!"

You see, it occurred to me that there has been no one in my life who I saw as "the teacher," the one who had all the answers.  The notion was somewhat unwelcome.  It would, after all, be more comfortable to acknowledge an authority; to be able to turn to a trustworthy source with a reasonable expectation of veracity.  That is an assertion common to much philosophy, religion and Google: there is enough data, there is a right answer.  But I have never been in such a relationship.

Facts may be discerned.  Relationships among facts and processes can reveal essential commonalities, but truth, I fear is unique.  The only chord you can tune is your own. 

Mine may be an unusual observation from one who has spent his life as "a teacher."  There is, however, a profound difference between "a teacher" and "the teacher."  I had many good teachers in my life - but I always saw them as peers, as fellow travelers on the winding road to insight.  They provided paving stones, and the occasional trestle with which I constructed my ramshackle road to personal truth.  I got along swimmingly with those who shared that perspective.  The road was less tranquil with those who sought to demonstrate their incredible perception.

I have no doubt that my recent "Ah ha!" moment was driven in part by the extent to which I have been called upon to play the role of "the Teacher" in recent days.  A number of elements conspired.  I started using a new Learning Management System - the digital equivalent of a classroom, office, mailbox and gradebook - to organize my classes, and I began to teach a new course that I spent much of the last six months designing: Communication Media in A Changing World.  To maximize both pedagogical and intellectual flexibility, I designed a series of assignments with both chronological and conceptual options - ie. the students could choose both the content they wished to address and - within some boundaries - when they would turn them in.  Many appear to be out there quietly carrying out those tasks - or they are bearing their confusion docilely.  But a minority are utterly undone.  Multiple and frequent emails endlessly reprise this refrain: How do I do this alone? What do you want me to write about? What do you want me to think about?  In short, what should I believe is true?

The ancient admonition "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him!" has always been a bit illusive for me.  It fades in and out of apparent relevance.  I think I understand a bit more now.  Accepting that some teacher always knows "the truth," or even "the right answer" is cripplingly comfortable.  It makes our own journey unnecessary.  Someone else has found truth.  I'll just take a nap.  Forever.  I am still too much the pacifist to condone killing the Buddha.  But I would warn against following him - that way lies a quiet kind of suicide.