Fight fiercely Harvard!
Fight, fight, fight.
Impress them with our prowess, do.
Fight Fiercely Harvard, Tom Lehrer, 1960
It is, I admit, a strange way to start a post on the virtue of gentleness. But my inclination to rise to the defense of gentility beats most strongly when the world is least gentle. Starting this post, as I am, moments after President Biden has declared his intention not to pursue a second term, I decided to search for examples of quotes from individuals with legitimate intellectual credentials that echoed Trump, the Republican nominee’s simplistic exhortation "Fight, fight, fight!"
It was a difficult search once I eliminated the ritualistic chats of fans at athletic venues - never widely cited for thoughtful commentary. Equally problematic was finding specific references to, or with whom, Trump was encouraging this confrontational conflict. While references to various perceived miscreants abounded, it pretty much came down to anyone who didn't follow Trump's wide-ranging litany of evildoers who stole the last election from him.
Finally I stumbled upon Tom Lehrer, a Harvard educated mathematican, who taught math and theater at the University of California at Santa Cruz in the 60s and 70s, and penned the delightful Fight, Fiercely, Harvard. My fear is that if heard by Trump supporters with band-aids on their ears, they would fail to realize that Lehrer was best know for satire. . .
Several days have now passed and Kamala Harris appears to be the presumptive Democratic nominee. I see that as good news as she certainly aligns comfortably with my view of the world and advocates policies that would move the nation in that direction. So I will pull the lever, well, actually fill in the circle, for her come November. The bad news is that various voices within the party champion her by hailing her as a "warrior."
So there you have it, a Republican nominee whose sweeping view of the complex issues facing the nation and the world can be condensed in his mantra, "Fight! Fight! Fight!", opposed by the Democratic nominee some in the party would seek to paint as a "worthy combatant" - a "Warrior." Certainly I cannot be alone in finding this antagonistic, aggressive framing of our national political environment depressing.
Which brings me, albeit tardily, to the intended focus of this post: praising gentleness. There is a relatively simple reason why such a seemingly praiseworthy notion as gentleness needs championing. And that is because its far more common antagonists; anger, hostility, confrontation and violence, are so much easier. Ask any parent whose three-year old decided to see if the cell phone could "swim" in the toilet, or maybe see if you could flush it like they had learned "big boys and girls" did. See how easy anger is?
And taking the easy route with anger, hostility, confrontation and violence seems to be an affliction that humanity just cannot shake. It follows us from swimming cell phones to playground squabbles to "Harvard fighting fiercely" to first-person-shooter video games to drone "warfare-at-a-distance" to old-fashioned bloodshed in the streets. All because it is easier than gentleness.
And we know it is wrong. If you read any of the foundational texts of the world's great religions and philosophical tomes, you will discover that all but a distorted few argue eloquently for gentleness, compassion, and loving kindness. Unfortunately, that has not prevented a seemingly endless parade of "pious souls" from using those same texts to make the streets run red with blood in the name of some deity, demigod, king or emperor. All because shedding blood in anger or fervor is easier than pursuing the gentleness advocated in a more compassionate reading of those saints, prophets and philosophers.
Gentleness is difficult, but is actually capable of existing beyond the covers of the writings of those prophets and philosophers inclined to friendly persuasion. I am a product of my time and culture so when I consider real-life individuals who have been able to manifest gentleness in a predominantly violent world my list (in no particular order) reflects that upbringing: Dr. King, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela - and in a very personal cluster - my mother and older brother Jim, both sadly deceased these many years, but neither of whom can I now recall ever having raised their voice, let alone an implement, in anger toward another individual. Those other, more well-known, names belonged to people who met all the indignity and anger the world could hurl at them and turned it away with a gentle, forgiving, humanity seemingly passing all understanding.
So there are real-life models for gentleness. Your particular cluster of such individuals may overlap with parts of mine, but will no doubt extend to other worthy souls of whom I am ignorant. We need to pay attention to those models. Learn from those examples. That exercise can, in itself, be difficult and frustrating as we often run into aspects of ourselves it has been easier to ignore. Anger has been a particular bete noire for me, I still struggle with it. And occasionally I also fail to fully appreciate the unintended hurt caused by my words or actions. But as a wise person (the source and precise citation escape me at the moment) once said, "Knowing you have a problem is the first step in solving it."
So I meditate, listen to gentle music from pleasant times, draw and - I tell myself - keep taking baby steps to a more gentle me.
In a lovely bit of serendipity, shortly after finishing this post I came across this article in New Scientist. The title is self-explanatory.
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